I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
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Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
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