Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
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New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
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Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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