Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize