I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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