I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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