Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
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Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize