Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize