I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
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also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
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I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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