haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
420 ftw
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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