YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I CAN MOONWALK!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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