We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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