4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It all started with a game of naked twister.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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