I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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