There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize