just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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