no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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