My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize