Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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