I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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