I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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