We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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