Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize