There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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