He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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