fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize