Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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