She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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