Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
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Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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