words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
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Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
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Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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