the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I know her cup size but not her name....
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