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SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
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