He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize