I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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