Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
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Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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