I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize