He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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