My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize