So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
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It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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