he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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