Are we in a gay sports bar?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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