I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize