She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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