he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize