i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize