I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
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Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
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