I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize