this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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