Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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