I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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