Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
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i want to swaddle you in tequila
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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