Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.

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  (508): i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip. http://tfl.nu/di6e
  Replies (10) Good night (3299) Bad night (1486) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.

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  (914): Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore. http://tfl.nu/9xwr
  Replies (44) Good night (3926) Bad night (1100) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.

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  (850): tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff. http://tfl.nu/0w18
  Replies (9) Good night (3571) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.

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  (630): Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches. http://tfl.nu/xanx
  Replies (10) Good night (3352) Bad night (1110) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration

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  (313): Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration http://tfl.nu/0qdd
  Replies (12) Good night (2328) Bad night (1075) Order T-Shirt
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us

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  (779): Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us http://tfl.nu/jk9n
  Replies (2) Good night (2095) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper

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  (716): she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper http://tfl.nu/z4y6
  Replies (28) Good night (5488) Bad night (1122) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...

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  (337): I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job... http://tfl.nu/0251
  Replies (5) Good night (2097) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.

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  (706): Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat. http://tfl.nu/kq42
  Replies (4) Good night (2259) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds

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  (416): Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds http://tfl.nu/xosv
  Replies (3) Good night (388) Bad night (769) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.

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  (916): No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace. http://tfl.nu/5hw2
  Replies (12) Good night (919) Bad night (1852) Order T-Shirt
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.

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  (731): Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze. http://tfl.nu/erxr
  Replies (1) Good night (1951) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.

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  (+44): Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world. (303): Welcome to America. You're gonna love it. http://tfl.nu/yt2w
  Replies (13) Good night (2738) Bad night (341)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..

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  (206): She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out.. http://tfl.nu/vlup
  Replies (3) Good night (458) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.

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  (801): I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck. http://tfl.nu/p42i
  Replies (1) Good night (695) Bad night (141) Order T-Shirt

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